Always assume that people are going to be the same way forever. Don’t expect them to change or try to change them. Allow people to be who they are and only surround yourself with the people who already are where you want them to be.

The reality is that without a tragedy or a strong purpose, change is almost impossible. It takes a lot of work and most people are not willing to do it. Even if they try, at the first obstacle most people will revert back to old patterns.

For example, if a person lies to you, no amount of talk is going to suddenly make them honest, as being dishonest is part of who they are. The person has to go through a tragedy or a deep transformation before they can truly change. Even if they really want to, defeating their old patterns will be very difficult to do. You’re better off using your limited time and resources somewhere else. In fact, you leaving might be exactly the trauma they need in order to change.

It is always much more efficient to assume that people don’t change and that you can’t change anyone. Rather, see the world as it is, and meet the people who have already changed; people who already are where you want them to be.

Change should only be pursued with people who have a high level of awareness, who take full responsibility for their lives, who have a track record of changing, who are willing to change, and who you still want in your life.

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop. ― Rūmī

The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning. ― Lao Tzu

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